Futile

I am the mother of two boys, two young boys. Today, as I do every week, I cleaned their bathroom. It would seem that even after I cleaned it, it didn't smell clean, or as clean as I wanted. I even bought a new toilet seat. It I can remove it easily and really clean. 

So today as I was disassembling the toilet and scouring every inch of it, I began to grumble to myself. Unfortunately, grumbling has become part of my weekly routine as well. Last week I tried to grumble to myself in Spanish, "No me gusta limpiar el baño". Maybe that would make me feel better?

Nope. 

It didn't.

So today I did as I do each week, clean their bathroom and complain to myself the whole time. Then I remembered Philippians 2:14 "do everything without complaining". I tried. I really did!

After I finished I thought that was it on that subject. However, tonight is bath night. My youngest stripped down and came running into the bathroom. He made it to the toilet, but not into the toilet. I was fuming. I complained, "That's it! I can't take it! Can ANYTHING feel more futile than cleaning a little boy's bathroom?"

I tried to think of something. Even though washing dishes can feel futile or dusting, is there anything that feels like as soon as you do it, you have to do it again?

Forgiveness. 

More specifically, the way God must feel when he forgives me. 

I only have to clean the bathroom once a week (or that's as often as I choose to do it), but God forgives me 

daily...

hourly...

every moment...

I'm so thankful that God never tires of forgiving me. I'm just sorry he has to do it more often.

Maybe I'll take a different approach to cleaning the bathroom.

Maybe I'll be thankful I don't have to share a bathroom with our boys.

Maybe I'll be thankful I have two boys to dirty the bathroom.

Maybe I'll be mindful of how God must feel each time he has to wash me clean.

"Come now, let's settle this," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool. Isaiah 1:18

Prince of Peace

For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. And the government will rest on his shoulders. These will be his royal titles: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6

Sometimes in our non-monarchy society, the importance of royal titles isn’t fully appreciated. I didn’t appreciate them. Then I discovered it; British Period Drama. My recent favorite centers around the importance of title. Not only that the title was passed from male to male, but the responsibility, the respect and the power that comes along with the title. Each Christmas I sing along with Handel’s Messiah and belt out “Wonderful. Counselor. Almighty God. The Everlasting Father. The Prince of Peace.” It wasn’t until recently that the title Prince of Peace stood out to me. What does it mean that Jesus is the Prince of Peace? He is the Prince of Peace. He is sovereign over it. It is his to bestow on those he chooses. Imagine coming before the Prince in all his royal robes. His father sits behind him on the throne. Frantic and frenzied, weighed down by the worries of this life, you make your way toward the Prince. As you come closer, he extends his hand to you. You grasp his outstretched hand and fall at his feet. As he bends, he gently takes you into his embrace and whispers into your ear, “My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

Prince of Peace, draw me near to you. Forgive me for not trusting you fully. Help me to loosen my grasp on my worries and burdens of this life. Please bestow on me your everlasting peace.

Be Still

Be still and know that I am God!

I will be honored by every nation.

I will be honored throughout the world.

Psalms 46:10

Be still? I have trouble sitting, waiting and listening. My preference would be for the Lord to part the clouds and say, “Go over here and do this.” Wouldn’t that be nice? We could get right to doing. The Lord does call us to go and do, but he also calls us to be. “Be still and know that I am God”. Oh how that verse has tormented me. I have spent years trying to figure out what I need to do to be. Have you ever seen a fern when it’s first sprouting from the ground? Its leaves are rolled in and its stem is tightly curled into itself. As it grows, it begins to unfurl until the stem is stretched backwards with all its leaves extended. It’s completely open and surrendered to the sun. That is how I want to live. I want to be unfurled of being so tightly curled and focused on myself. I want to be stretched backwards with my arms extended, completely open and surrendered to the Lord, trusting him at every step. To be in His presence.

Honored God. Forgive me for not trusting you fully. You are trustworthy. You do what you say you’ll do. Unfurl me so that I can be open and surrendered to you, basking in the presence of you.